At wits end

Yesterday was the most frustrating day. Husband and I had to clean out back room to get daughter back over here from her dads. He had kicked her out for all her bad behavior and if we hadn't gotten her she would be on the street. The problem is she has lied to us too and we have had enough of the same bad behavior. She has absolutely no problem looking you in the eye and swearing she is telling the truth when in fact it is a lie. We have tried to talk to her and punish her by grounding her but nothing has worked. She does what she wants when out of our sight. Have just found out she drinks and smokes at 17! Not happy about that at all and she lies about it when asked. We know she has been drinking Rum and getting drunk over at her dad's because she wrote about it in her diary and he gave it to us to read. He didn't know what the CM meant but I did. Am horrified at what she is doing. Last night she, after being told I don't condone smoking but if she HAD to pick an addiction it is better than the drinking, sat down and lit up and he her brother saw it. She does not set a good example at all for him and he is very upset. This has even caused my husband to put our marriage at risk, even though he says he didn't mean it was just angry at the time. That may be true but if he said it he thought it and I'm scared. I do not know what to do with this child. She is on the same road my sister was on and she killed herself! These are the same behaviors she had. My daughter may be a different person but the character traits are very close. I'm afraid for my child and what can happen to her. This doesn't even cover the oldest who has special needs seeing all this and she tends to copy what her sister does. She has been smoking and drinking as well. She also talks about dieing and that scares me silly because she doesn't understand what it means.
There is only so much a mother can take let alone her marriage. My husband has tried and tried to be a father to them and the girls only reject him or worse act like they love and care when they just want something out of him. He has given up his son for me and my oldest since she wouldn't have been able to stay in Denmark. He hasn't seen him for 3yrs and is very sad and angry about it, especially when treated so bad by the girls. I watch him suffer everyday for his son and and am at a loss to know what to do. I honestly am beginning to think if my daughter wants to move out and live elsewhere I might just let her since nothing we do works. I just don't know....