I am so pissed at my health!

I am so angry right now I could cuss a blue streak! Today has been THE worst for joint pain, I have worked all day barely making it through the day. I have spent the day in misery because if inflamed joints that hurt if I move or don't. Or the chest pains. Or the muscle spasms.I had a hell of a time sitting at my desk for the 1st half of the day and only stayed at work because they put me up at work force to watch the call ques and wasn't on the phones. I was able to take my shoes off and put my feet up for awhile. It didn't stop any pain but I was marginally more comfortable for a bit.  I make it home and can't sit anywhere but on the couch and when my husband finally comes in to talk to me, even though he knew I was upset and in a lot of pain, he starts snapping at me while we are trying to talk about our oldest daughter.  I couldn't make myself clear about the worries I was having about having her move back in with us and he took something I said the wrong way and got rather nasty about it. I know I'm not the only one that will be dealing with her but I am struggling with my health so badly right now I cant imagine having to deal with her everyday and have to get all the appointments set and met. He decided to take it that I was only thinking about me and not that he would be there to help. I know I wasnt making myself clear but I am so muddleheaded right now from pain. He should have thought for one second that he might need to be a bit understanding and just listen for once. Sometimes I cant get things out right and I have to try and explain what I'm thinking and feeling and need some leeway, esp. when in as much pain as I have been. I am so mad and so hurt he didn't just offer to hold me or comfort me in anyway when I needed it most. I am tired of not being able to live my day instead of survive it and I really am having a hard time copping with pain. Right now my whole body is on fire with pain and I have no way to stop it or get remotely comfortable. Every bloody joint is screaming at me; a sharp, stabbing, burning, aching I cant move without it escalating into a roaring torrent kind of pain! 
I HATE THIS!
I have to rage at the world and life because I have to live from one pain event to the next and right now I don't get any rest or breaks between!
I try and take care of my husband and family but I cant.
There are some who don't give a damn about what they do and how it will impact me and that makes things worse.
My children are selfish creatures just like their dad with not one thought for the other person or people. I'm tired, very very tired.
I love my family, I really do, but I'm tired of them not understanding what I have to deal with everyday and no one damn well bothers to learn anything about the illness and what it causes. I'm tired of being made to feel guilty because I don't live up to their expectations.
I am so Gad damn tired!





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Jiont pain from HELL!

This weather is driving me nuts! I hurt in every bloody joint so that it is painful to move in any way. Walking feels like I'm walking on my bones with no padding of skin or muscle. I can't raise my arms and using my hands for typing in excruciating! It doesn't seem like any of the pain meds I have are even giving any relief at all.
I'm trying to be upbeat and happy but it is very hard not to snarl and snap at everyone because the pain just doesn't relent. I had to leave work last night because I just couldn't make it another couple hours taking calls from people whining about stupid stuff when I was sitting there suffering and unable to be comfortable in any way.
I start my new shift today and don't get my days off until Friday and Saturday. This means I will have worked from Last Tuesday to This coming Thursday a total of 10 days if my brain added that correctly. I am burnt out!!



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A Better Pain Chart Posters from Zazzle.com

This is what they should be hanging in the Dr.'s office!



A Better Pain Chart Posters from Zazzle.com


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Snow, snow go away....

I am very tired of all this snow we are now buried under. I hurt so bad just from the storm itself moving though but I had to go shovel the driveway yesterday (not that it lasted) and now I can barely move! Again.. don't know how I'm going to work. I didn't make it yesterday but since it was a blizzard almost no one did. Am looking at the clock thinking, "How the hell am I going to get there let alone last all 8hrs?" I am SO tired of whining about pain but am even more tired with feeling like this! If sunlight didn't cause major flairs I would be tanning now just for the lift in spirits! (Closes eyes and remembers how yummy it felt)
All I can do right now if close my eyes and think "happy thoughts" and not focus on the pain. My Zazzle store is my focus right now....has kept me busy and sane....well almost sane anyway.




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Pogo

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Flirty Aprons

I like these aprons they are very sweet.


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Snow again...

We are having ANOTHER snow storm! I am sick and tired of snow and the pain that comes before,during and after one. I am doing all I can just to find something to help keep my mind busy so I don't just sit here and cry like I REALLY want to do. Yesterday I was grumpy and snappy because I hurt today isn't looking any better no that it IS snowing. I really just want to curl up and go into a coma until this passes. Guess I understand what some animals hibernate now! I am supposed to be getting ready for work here is a few but I can barely walk let alone shower and shovel snow then go sit on an uncomfortable chair having stupid people yell at you for 8 hrs. I'm thinking I'm either going to be late or a no show today mainly because I can't shovel the stupid stuff!



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